18 NovEpisode 96 | The Charles Mingus’ CAT-alog for Toilet Training Your Cat (1972)

When he wasn't revolutionizing the world of mid-20th century jazz music, Charles Mingus was home training his cat, Nightlife. Specifically, he was really into training Nightlife to go on the toilet. Indeed, he was something of an evangelist on the subject. Here, Annie reads from "The Charles Mingus CAT-alog for Toilet Training Your Cat," his 1972 brochure that outlines a step-by-step process.

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Notes:

Charles Mingus' CAT-alog for Toilet Training Your Cat – Full text here

Train your own cat with a  modern invention: The Litter Kwitter

Music: Full of Love from Album Stay Tonight, by Till Paradiso (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0)

 

Transcript:

Annie:

There are two things I love that I rarely talk about on this podcast. One is cats. The other is jazz music. Well, that's all going to change today.  A few weeks ago in a Q and A I did, I mentioned this little known fact in the history of jazz, which is that jazz titan Charles Mingus was very interested in cat training.

 

Specifically, he was interested in training cats to pee and poop on toilets, and he actually wrote a guide to how to do that. So today I thought I would just share with you a reading of this guide paired with some jazz music. Here is Charles Mingus is the Charles Mingus CAT-atalog for toilet training your cat.

 

First, you must train your cat to use a homemade cardboard litter box if you have not already done so. If your box does not have a one-piece bottom, add a cardboard that fits inside so you have a false bottom that is smooth and strong.  This way the box will not become soggy and fall out at the bottom. The grocery store will have extra flat cardboards, which you can cut down to fit exactly inside your box.

 

Be sure to use torn up newspaper, not kitty litter.  Stop using kitty litter. When the time comes, you cannot put sand in the toilet.

 

Once your cat is trained to use a cardboard box, start moving the box around the room towards the bathroom. If the box is in a corner, move it a few feet from the corner, but not very noticeably. If you move it too far, he may go to the bathroom in the original.  Do it gradually.  

 

You've got to get him thinking, then he will gradually follow the box as you move it to the bathroom. If you already have it there, move it out of the bathroom, around, and then back.  He has to learn to follow it. If it is too close to the toilet to begin with, he will not follow it up onto the toilet seat. A cat will look for his box.  He smells it.

 

Now as you move the box, also start cutting the brim of the box down, so the sides get lower. Do this gradually. Finally you reach the bathroom, and eventually the toilet itself.

 

Then one day, prepare to put the box on top of the toilet.  

 

At each corner of the box, cut a little slash you can run string around the box through these slashes, and tie the box down to the toilet so it will fall off. Your cat will see it there and jump up to the box, which is now sitting on top of the toilet. Get the sides cut down to only an inch or so. 

 

Don't bug the cat now.  Don't rush him because you might throw him off. Just let him relax and go there for a while. Maybe a week or two, meanwhile, but less and less newspaper inside the box.

 

One day, cut a small hole box, less than an apple, about the size of a plum, and leave some paper in the box around the hole. Right away, he will start aiming for the hole, possibly even try to make it bigger.

 

Leave the paper for a while to absorb the waste. When he jumps up, he will not be afraid of the hole because he expects it. At this point, you realize that you have won. The most difficult part is over. From now on, it's just a matter of time.

 

In fact, once when I was cleaning the box and had removed it from the toilet, my cat jumped up anyway and almost fell in.  To avoid this, have a temporary flat cardboard ready with a little hole and slide it under the toilet lid so he can use it while you are cleaning in case he wants to come and go. And so he will not fall in and be scared off completely.  You might add to newspaper up there too while you are cleaning in case your cat is not as smart as Nightlife was.

 

Now cut the box down completely until there is no brim left.  Put the flat cardboard which is left under the lid of the toilet seat, and pray.  Leave a little newspaper still. He will rake it into the hole anyway, after he goes to the bathroom.  Eventually you can simply get rid of the cardboard altogether

 

You will see when he has got his balance properly. Don't be surprised if you hear the toilet flush in the middle of the night.  A cat can learn how to do it spurred on by his instinct to cover up. His main thing is to cover up.  If he hits the flush knob accidentally and sees that it cleans the bowl inside, he may remember and do it intentionally.

 

Also be sure to turn the toilet paper roll around so that it won't roll down easily if the cat paws it.  A cat is apt to roll it into the toilet, again, with the intention of covering up the way he would if there were still kitty litter.

 

It took me about three or four weeks to toilet train my cat Nightlife. Most of the time is spent moving the box very gradually to the bathroom.  Do it very slowly and don't confuse him. And remember, once the box is on the toilet, leave it a week or even two. The main thing to remember is not to rush or confuse him.

 

Good luck. Charles Mingus.

 

That is from the 1972 brochure, the Charles Mingus CATalog for toilet training your cat.  More recently, a product went on the market called the Litter Kwitter, which makes the whole process slightly easier by giving people a plastic pan you can use on your toilet with concentric circles that can be popped out as your cat gets better and better at balancing on the toilet.  Also in more recent decades, different kinds of truly flushable litter have hit the market. So you don't have to use newspaper.

 

Special, thanks to artist Till Paradiso for use of the song Full of Love from the album Stay Tonight.